Kids? No Thanks.

First, I want to say that I know a lot of moms, and I admire every one of them. Working moms, stay-at-home moms, moms with one kid, moms with many kids – and I consider you all superwomen. It takes a special kind of gal to decide to bring another human being into this world, and to make sure that they are well cared for and brought up to be a functioning member of society. So please don’t take this as a knock at moms. You’re all great.

I am not one of those gals.

I was at The Boyfriend’s sister’s bridal shower yesterday, and of course the subject of children came up. Apparently it’s still an assumption that when you get engaged you’re already planning on having kids. Can we take things one step at time? Planning a wedding seems stressful enough, who wants to think about having a baby?

Anyway, I made the statement that I don’t want kids. Ever. I generally dislike children. Well, let’s be clear: as long as they aren’t crying, sticky, drooling a lot (more specifically, on me), or talking in that way a four year old talks so it takes an hour for them to tell you a five minute story, then I like them. Generally I like them while they’re small and cute and can’t move around much or talk back. There are a select few that are cute toddlers (and those moms know who they are), but once they get old enough to actually make decisions and know right from wrong, I’m out.

So, back to my statement: no kids. I’ve talked to The Boyfriend about it, as well, and he agrees. Sure, bringing a life into the world is wonderful and all, but right now I can hardly take care of myself, let alone another person. Also, I’m way too selfish for that. We like to take day trips to Maine and New Hampshire, or take off for a weekend once in a while. Once you have a kid, *womp womp*. You gotta get a sitter (and they cost a hell of a lot these days), plan their meals, make sure they have food, emergency numbers, the whole nine yards. Or, if you take them with you, you need to keep them entertained and plan all your activities around them. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

The most annoying part of the kids conversation, though, is when people say, “Oh, you’ll change your mind when you’re older and married.” Or, the ever popular, “It’s different when they’re your own.” NO. NO IT IS NOT. It’s still drool, spit up, poop, waking up at 3am, packing the baby bag, unpacking the baby bag, and on and on. And also, who the hell are you to tell me what *I* will end up wanting in life? If I listened to every person that told me what would happen with my life, I would be in a totally different place than I am today, probably hating life. So, that.

I plan on having a long, happy, childless marriage. With many trips to islands, spontaneous weekend getaways, and maybe even a visit to Canada. All without needing to make room for a carseat among the luggage, or having to deal with crumbs in my purse.

End rant. Thanks for reading.

About MaryMallard

I'm obsessed with social media, good food, and my dog. I just want to leave a footprint in the world, no matter how small. I hope this blog entertains you, makes you think, or inspires you to try new things. If you have anything to say, don't hesitate to say it. And if there are ever truffle fries on a menu, order them.

Posted on September 9, 2013, in Life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hahaha like you don’t have crumbs in your purse already…

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